Much to my amazement, I was accepted into a summer research program. Well, four summer research programs (to be precise). I still think that there have to be people more qualified than I am out there. Why didn't they apply?

I Googled my Georgia Tech advisor and discovered that she's famous. She even has a Wikipedia entry. That only adds to my unease. I graduated from high school with honors but low honors because I barely attended classes. I also graduated two years late because of that. I didn't take AP courses because they didn't (and still don't) exist. I dual-enrolled at MCC but only two classes transferred to UMF. The only other honors I received was a small academic scholarship because I didn't fail Michigan's standardized test and the designation of "Urban League Scholar." I don't have a perfect GPA and never will because I have to take math classes. There will probably be other students in the program with flawless academic records, were valedictorians or salutorians in high school, and have earned numerous awards. Oh, and they'll be younger than I am.

It's for ten weeks. The longest I've ever been away from home is two weeks when I was twelve. It was okay until near the end and I've avoided going anywhere overnight since. I'm completely incapable of taking care of myself. Seriously. I'm just not the type of person who values independence. I'll have to wash my clothes, which is something I've never done. I plan to wear some stuff more than once to minimize the experience. I won't have to cook because I'll have a meal plan, which is great because I don't know how unless it involves a microwave. Hey, I barely eat unless I'm reminded to.

I'll have to learn how to listen to an alarm clock and make it to places on time. I'll have to share a space with strangers. I'll have to remember to do things on my own because my mother won't be there to remind me. It's like I'm a baby bird who has just been shoved off a cliff and must learn how to fly before I splat against the ground.

I have to write a proposal for it to count as my honors off-campus study. I'm in the process of doing that. It has to be approved by my advisor, the honors director, and the honors council. I also have to fill out several forms. I also need to get the CS department chair's permission to take the special off-campus study course. Once I return I have to write a thesis, which won't be too bad. I'll have more than one semester's time. There's a course for this, too. Altogether there are eight credits.

I don't want to return from this trip radically different. Slightly different I could probably handle, however. I still have at least another year at UMF before graduation and then I'm going to grad school. Where? Who knows. I don't even know what I want to specialize in. I know I want to do research but I also like website development and the idea of video game programming. Right now I'm so tired I like I'm going to pass out any second. I want to finish the manga I'm reading and I need to work on the proposal. There are other things, too, but I can't think of them right now.

Maybe I'll create a series of weekly entries about my research experience (complete with photos). I've never done anything interesting enough to even consider this.

Matta mitte ne (see you next time)! (from: the Record of Lodoss War bonus scenes)